The Mass Appeal of P!nk and Other Straight Celebrities Lesbians Love

Guest Blogger Molly Holmes

Molly is a volunteer in the NIU Ally Program and a staff member in Housing & Dining. Molly also has worked with the LGBT Resource Center as a Canon Fellow.

On principle, I would never feed into the negative stereotype that LGBT Q people “recruit” or try and convert straight people to “become” LGBTQ. People will and should come out in their own time, on their own terms. That said, there are really no rules about daydreaming about those we’d wish would come out, or speculating about who would make a really great queer lady. When I was in college, some of my friends and I would bargain with the universe—we’d gladly “throw back” some out lesbians we knew in hopes that someone else might come out in her place. “…Oh, I would totally throw back the softball pitcher for your roommate...,” was overheard from time to time. It only worked in our minds, but it was fun to play.

Last Saturday night, I attended the P!nk concert, and like many other queer women there, I wondered what could make P!nk one of us. So far, she continues to be in a long time relationship with Carey Hart, male motocross rider. From her adorable -- yet equally disheartening -- giddy description of his recent visit, no amount of lesbian hoping or bargaining is going to make P!nk one of us.

It’s not just P!nk…actresses Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie (both have publicly acknowledged their bisexual attractions/relationships), Rosario Dawson, Lucy Liu, Eva Mendes, Eliza Dushku and Drew Barrymore among many others have cross-orientation/gender identity appeal. Queer women across the feminine and masculine spectrum love them. It could be a mannerism, a haircut, a movie or song where they are seen as “tough”, or even speaking out in support of LGBT issues. Whatever it is, we run with it…and we love it.

I also wonder -- what is it like for these women who appeal to almost everyone (biological women and men, transwomen and men, gay men, lesbians, queer people, non-conforming/identifying folks, and everyone in between)? Exhausting, exciting? For the rest of us, I can say that it is a little torturous to watch a favorite female artist do something with so much feminine-masculine appeal like flex her muscles and in the next second wrap that same muscular arm around her boyfriend/husband. Boring, we say! “Sing, ‘So What!’ again, do some martial arts or star in a movie about strong women—that’s what we want!”

It’s way more fun to pretend or hope we could do something about our impossible crushes than to actually deal with the reality that these women are basically not queer. Of course, if they were, we’d all have a shot at being with them…