When caring just isn’t enough

Last weekend’s historic events came too late for this gay man. He’s in a coma.

WARNING: VIDEO IS GRAPHIC AND MAY BE DISTURBING



What’s it going to take to stop these horrific attacks?

I didn’t hear about the attack on the mainstream news like I did the March on Washington or the president’s promise to end the “don’t ask don’t tell” military policy. Instead I read about the attack on Velvet Park, a queer blog that markets itself as “Dyke Culture In bloom.” Velvet Park Editor-in-Chief Grace Moon seems outraged that US politicians are dragging their heels on producing a national hate crimes law.

While Moon looks to politics for an answer, I want to get inside the attackers’ heads. I tell myself that understanding the attackers may someday help stop people from committing these attacks again. Then I criticize myself for being naïve. Of course this won’t go away, violence is human nature.

My post was originally going to be about the National LGBT History Month website that honors “gay icons” with a video, bio, bibliography, downloadable images and other resources. Suddenly, highlighting celebrity gays to an already gay-friendly audience just feels like preaching to the choir.

Is all equality work nothing but empty rhetoric? Why didn’t one million people make a difference in Washington?

For more information:

• Further details about the attack, care of 70news.com
  
• Grace Moon’s Article on velvetparkmedia.com
  
• Coverage of President Obama’s Gay Speech on humanevents.com
  
• Washington DC National Equality March on October 10th and 11th on LATimes.com
  
• Gay Icons for LGBT History Month on glbthistorymonth.com
  

My Not So Typical Trip to the Sex Toy Store

So I am leaving my night class and heading to a certain sex toy store here in town for the purpose of getting some props for a costume. I see a male worker standing outside so I assume he is just checking ids at the door. While I am walking closer I pull out my id so he won’t need to ask me for it. I get up to the door and before I could even show him my id he says, “tonight is lady’s night, so for the next 15 minutes only women are allowed in.” As I held my id close to his face I responded with, “well, thank god I’m a woman.”

Every ounce of me wishes someone was standing there with a camera to capture the look on his face. While that look was amazing, I truly appreciated the apology he gave me as it sounded very sincere.

After that I took some time to reflect; did I really look that masculine? Or was the way I presented myself stereotypically masculine? Sure I had on men’s pants, shoes, button down shirt, and was rockin’ a faux hawk with my short hair, but does that necessarily mean male? I have experienced these misconceptions many times throughout my life; I have been called sir, he, and him on a daily basis but the odd part is, when I cut my hair short that diminished greatly and I started being called ma’am more frequently (who would have thought?).

Our society is so quick to label people on the clothes they wear because they assume that all women should wear women’s clothes and all men should wear men’s clothes. I challenge those assumptions everyday by being true and comfortable with myself.

Has anyone else experienced this; had your sex questioned because of the way you dress or your mannerisms? How do you deal with this? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Does it make you want to change the way you are so you don’t have to deal with the ignorance?

*rant over*

The Mass Appeal of P!nk and Other Straight Celebrities Lesbians Love

Guest Blogger Molly Holmes

Molly is a volunteer in the NIU Ally Program and a staff member in Housing & Dining. Molly also has worked with the LGBT Resource Center as a Canon Fellow.

On principle, I would never feed into the negative stereotype that LGBT Q people “recruit” or try and convert straight people to “become” LGBTQ. People will and should come out in their own time, on their own terms. That said, there are really no rules about daydreaming about those we’d wish would come out, or speculating about who would make a really great queer lady. When I was in college, some of my friends and I would bargain with the universe—we’d gladly “throw back” some out lesbians we knew in hopes that someone else might come out in her place. “…Oh, I would totally throw back the softball pitcher for your roommate...,” was overheard from time to time. It only worked in our minds, but it was fun to play.

Last Saturday night, I attended the P!nk concert, and like many other queer women there, I wondered what could make P!nk one of us. So far, she continues to be in a long time relationship with Carey Hart, male motocross rider. From her adorable -- yet equally disheartening -- giddy description of his recent visit, no amount of lesbian hoping or bargaining is going to make P!nk one of us.

It’s not just P!nk…actresses Megan Fox, Angelina Jolie (both have publicly acknowledged their bisexual attractions/relationships), Rosario Dawson, Lucy Liu, Eva Mendes, Eliza Dushku and Drew Barrymore among many others have cross-orientation/gender identity appeal. Queer women across the feminine and masculine spectrum love them. It could be a mannerism, a haircut, a movie or song where they are seen as “tough”, or even speaking out in support of LGBT issues. Whatever it is, we run with it…and we love it.

I also wonder -- what is it like for these women who appeal to almost everyone (biological women and men, transwomen and men, gay men, lesbians, queer people, non-conforming/identifying folks, and everyone in between)? Exhausting, exciting? For the rest of us, I can say that it is a little torturous to watch a favorite female artist do something with so much feminine-masculine appeal like flex her muscles and in the next second wrap that same muscular arm around her boyfriend/husband. Boring, we say! “Sing, ‘So What!’ again, do some martial arts or star in a movie about strong women—that’s what we want!”

It’s way more fun to pretend or hope we could do something about our impossible crushes than to actually deal with the reality that these women are basically not queer. Of course, if they were, we’d all have a shot at being with them…