I have been there before…you’re at a bar or party and meet someone that you are really attracted to, and you just want to take them back to your place and have some fun. Thing is I never follow through; I always have it in my mind about how awkward it will be in the morning when we wake up. Not only that but I just met this person and have no idea about their sexual history or if they are free of STIs. Even if they swear to me that they don’t have one, how do I know for sure? They just met me. What guilt do they have in lying to me?
Another thought that has crossed my mind -- and I know many other women who sleep with women have thought this before: it’s two women sleeping together so the odds of transmitting an STI is almost nonexistent. Like I said, that thought has crossed my mind but I know it is A COMPLETE LIE!!!! The risk of some STIs being transmitted between 2 women might be smaller than between 2 men or a man and woman, but the risk is still there. WE ARE NOT THE EXCEPTION!!
So my fellow female lovers, I ask you to think about the risks you are opening yourself up to when you don’t know your sexual partner that well. By no means am I saying that you shouldn’t sleep with that person; what I am saying, is if and/or when you choose to, know the risks and use protection. If your sexual partner is not willing to use protection or you are unsure how to start the conversation here are some tips on how to talk to them about safer sex. Also, be sure to get an STI test afterwards just to be safe. FYI, if you are a student here at NIU you can make an appointment at Health Services and get tested for free!
If you are a new, transfer, or even returning student you should know that you have a lot of safer sex options available to you, mostly free, right here on campus.
There are a couple places on campus that you can go get free safer sex supplies including, latex barriers at Health Enhancement and right here at the LGBT Resource Center. My guess is that many lesbians out there think that a condom has no use for them…wrong! A condom can be used to make a latex barrier for oral sex by just cutting it. If you are using a strap on it is always better to put a condom on it, especially if the dildo is not silicone (silicone is a non-porous material so bacteria has a harder time living there, click to find out more info on different types of materials). Also, if you are into anal and vaginal sex, using a condom will take away the time of having to clean between anal and vaginal sex. Condoms can be found at the LGBT Resource Center, Health Enhancement, Health Services, and in vending machines that should be in the bathrooms by the main lobbies of all the dorms.
Just remember safer sex is better sex!
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Great job at articulating some of these important issues! Two comments to add: 1) Since for most women and some men the majority of people have no discernible symptoms when infected, so they may not be lying, just not knowing. 2) In several CDC studies, about 30% of male and female students admitted that they would be willing to lie to a current sexual partner about past sexual experiences. Therefor it may be unwise to rely too much on a discussion with a partner to insure safety from STI.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that many people might not even know they have an STI, which is why i am a firm believer in getting tested on a regular basis. While most STIs cannot be cured it is better for you and anyone else you sleep with to know sooner than later. As for your second excellent point (btw that number is ridiculous!!), I refer back to the comment I just made. Get tested on a regular basis and use protection because they might not look like they have an STI but it is completely possible that they do.
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